There are days I log in to Facebook and, for some reason or another, notice I haven’t seen someone in my home feed for awhile. Now, let me just say, I rarely go onto Facebook for anything other than work. If I’m on there, it’s to check the Bearing Arms page or post something to my Jenn Jacques page, reply to a comment I’ve been tagged in in a group or check comments on articles. So, if I’m actively searching out someone’s profile, it’s once in a blue moon.
Well, color the moon blue, because low and behold, I went to someone’s page today only to discover we aren’t ‘friends’ anymore, even though we’re “friends” in real life… allegedly.
I’m really tired of losing friends for taking time away from my own life to help them. Those of you who know my personal challenges know I don’t have “free time” to burn, so when I take a minute or a few hours or even 30 seconds to send a text to say ‘thinking of you’ or dedicate any amount of time in any given day to others, that’s time I am literally giving of myself.
Einstein said, “only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile” and I still believe that but life is short and frankly, my faith in others is starting to run short as well. I won’t change, but perhaps I do need to change how I decide who is deserving of my time.
I’ve often said to myself, “Self? You should stop sending little messages to your friends and giving them your attention – they clearly don’t appreciate you anyway!” But that only lasts about 2-3 weeks and I’m back at it; sending little messages, leaving voicemails of encouragement, sending texts to brighten their days and put smiles on my friends’ faces.
Why? Because I like being a cheerleader. I don’t have a ton of money to be generous with, but I do like being generous with my friendship. I like brightening people’s day. I enjoy being a ray of sunshine. I delight in being an encouragement in others’ lives. Maybe it’s my Wisconsin upbringing, but I’m unbearably nice – it’s in my DNA.
So, I’ll continue to be generous with my time and exceedingly nice but maybe dial it back to include only those who acknowledge my efforts. …or, perhaps more realistically, stop looking at people ‘unfriending’ me as if it’s somehow my problem.
My two cents: if people are offended at your kindness and generosity, it says more about them than it does about you. Oh, and stay off Facebook. That shit’s toxic. 😉