It’s not very often that my home is quiet. That’s also a massive understatement.
When the kids went off to school this morning and I finally got my husband packed and out the door for his hunting trip, I turned around to survey the damage. Dishes on the table, dirty socks on the floor in the bathroom, a pile of mittens and hats at the door, you know the drill. But sitting in the quiet, I couldn’t get myself to move.
I thought about the cupboards I had planned to re-organize and the pile of papers on my desk I anticipated tackling and countless other things I should be doing with this day. I reflected on great it would be to make phone calls without distractions or even get a few blogs written and scheduled to publish with no interruptions.
But I didn’t want to move.
So I just sat.
I sat on the couch staring at a wall across from me for what seemed to be a really long time, although it could have been 20 minutes, that didn’t matter. I couldn’t tell you the last time it was quiet in here. I can’t remember when I took any amount of time for myself, just to sit, without my phone or computer or television or kids or husband or… life occupying my attention.
So I didn’t move. And it was sheer bliss.
Eventually, I got up, made a coffee, and started about my every day work around the house. I even dug into a portion of that giant pile of papers on my desk. And while I admit it felt great to do these things on interrupted, I just couldn’t get into focusing on these things when there is just so much quiet to enjoy.
I think as moms and women, we tend to put undue pressure on ourselves to have our homes and careers and even relationships “just so”, often feeling compelled to use the precious (and rare) opportunities we have without our families around to catch up on or get ahead of housework and life in general. I know I was actually looking forward to being able to do these things in peace. That’s sad, isn’t it?
Honestly, I have so much on my plate that days streak by so fast, I swear I blink and an entire week has gone by without me. 99% of the time, I just hang on for dear life and hope I’ll make it through the day in one piece!
So I choose to sit here in the quiet. I will shut my phone off. I will stay logged out of Twitter and Facebook. I will not turn the tv on. I will not vacuum the floor and I will not throw another load of laundry into the wash. Because I know that pile of papers on my desk isn’t going anywhere, but this euphoric peace will not last long.
My two cents: there is nothing wrong with embracing the quiet times that grace our lives! How can we be good wives, moms, friends, or workers if we don’t grasp our chances to recharge ourselves? Maybe it’s my upcoming birthday or that I’ve just finally realized that I don’t have to conform to anyone’s notion of how I should spend my time, but I’m giving myself permission to sit this one out.
(and just like that, my son is calling.)